The first anniversary of my friend Kelly’s death, I put her picture and a bracelet she had made for me at the sacred spot. Enough time had passed that when I mentioned that Kelly had died a year ago, my younger kids said, “Who?” and then when they saw her picture and the bracelet, they remembered her and we talked about a few of the things she liked and ways she was a part of our lives.
I started doing this with my Grandma, but I do it on her birthday. Many people who have passed on we remember on their birthdays or death days, or both.
At the Sacred Spot, we can put up a picture and fresh flowers and light the candle and we take some time to remember. Remembrances aren’t about perfection, you may forget for one year, or several. You may choose not to do it one year, or several. This isn’t about creating a new rigid schedule of observances. It’s about how remembering isn’t part of our regular living, and the sacred spot can bring back this practice into our modern lives.
Remembrances also are a part of using the sacred spot to mark time that makes sense in our own personal calendars. In the same way that you can selectively celebrate holidays and feast days that mean something to you, you can add in dates to remember those who have died. Over the years, I have a few dates written down and we remember these individuals yearly. This isn’t set in stone, but this is part of our working family calendar.
Fred Korematsu Day, January 30